Don't ever date your Manager: A True Tale

So I hope that I didn’t let anyone down by not uploading my famous story last night. It really is a good one. Anyways, I have some free time right now so I will now enlighten you with everything NOT to do on a first date (actually don’t do any of these things for any date). Anyways, enjoy.

Once upon a time, there was a hard working Disney employee named Jenica. She had to wear these hideous costumes to work, which made her look super cute. While sporting the pleaded navy blue pants up over her belly button with her red and blue collared shirt, she couldn’t keep the boys away.

One day, she came in to work and met her new manager for the day. We’ll call him Wilbur. He immediately noticed Jenica’s rockin style, and couldn’t wait to ask her out. So, he followed Jenica to the cafeteria on her lunch break, just to make sure she was having a good lunch.

“Hi Jenica,” he said. “How is your food? Do you like your food today?”

Jenica politely nodded and smiled, but continued with her meal. Wilbur repeatedly watched her eat, summoning all his courage to ask her on a date.

“Jenica will you go on a date with me tonight?” He finally said. Jenica already had plans with some friends, but was also not interested in dating her manager.

“I’m sorry Wilbur. I’ve already got plans.” She did not want to give him any false hope of there being a chance for another date, so she didn’t give him another time she would have liked to go.

***
The next day, there was an email waiting in Jenica’s inbox. It was from Wilbur.

Hi Jenica
It’s me Wilbur. How is your morning going? You should go out with me tonight I think.
Wilbur

Jenica was at a loss here because she didn’t have any plans to make an excuse. She regretfully told him that she had plans again, then to the best of her ability tried to avoid him for the remainder of the day.

For the next two weeks, Wilbur asked Jenica out every day and she sadly turned him down every time. Finally one day, Jenica got an email that said:

Jenica
I know you don’t want to go out with me, but I really just want one chance. Please. Let me know what day you are free to go on a date. Please don’t turn me down. I just want one chance. One date is all I’m asking.
Wilbur

Now Jenica felt utterly horrible. Wilbur was very awkward looking, and no fun to talk to. She did not want to waste one of her fun filled evenings at Disneyworld with him, but she had no other choice. He had played the pity card. She said she would go, and to pick her up at seven that evening.

***

When seven came around, Jenica was waiting at the gate to be picked up. Wilbur drove in to the parking lot, and Jenica clamored into the date of destruction. Minutes later, they were on the freeway, driving into the unknown. Literally. Ten minutes into the drive, Wilbur looked over at Jenica and said “so what do you want to do tonight?”

Flabbergasted at the thought that he hadn’t planned out any of the evening, Jenica replied “you decide.”

The next question that followed was “Are you hungry?” Jenica didn’t want him to think she was expecting a meal, yet didn’t want to turn his idea down. So she said “Well, I could eat”. He then replied “Well if I bought you food, would you eat it?”

Frustrated at this point, Jenica replied “Yes, lets go eat somewhere.”

Wilbur continued on the road for another five minutes before mustering up the courage to ask where they wanted to eat. They ended up at his choice of a fast food restaurant where Jenica ended up holding the door open for him to walk inside. Once they had their meals, Wilbur horted his down, while Jenica enjoyed her food. Wilbur stood up, asked if she was done with her half eaten meal, and before she could respond, he threw it away. Jenica wanted to go home.
The date was not yet over. It continued to a mini golf course where things continued to go downhill. Wilbur didn’t golf very well. He started yelling at his ball, and continuously had conversations with it to direct it into the hole. He yelled that he was having no fun and drove Jenica home.

When Jenica was finally safe from her disaster of a night, Wilbur asked her out the next day. She regretfully told him that she had decided to start dating someone earlier that day. It was the only excuse left to use.

She hasn’t talked to him since.
And she lived happily ever after
THE END